Eve and Adam (and the Boys)

(Adam with Cain, who is in his teens, sitting.)

Adam: So are you going to tell me?

Cain: No.

Adam: What’s that?

Cain: No.

Adam: Why not?

Cain: (Muttering) Shnevgimmefkncharss.

Adam: Talk to me properly.

Cain: Whyfkshdeye.

Adam: Open your mouth when you speak to me.

Cain: She never gives me a fucking chance.

Adam: Don’t swear.

Cain: Whynotyudu.

Adam: What do you mean, never gives you a chance?

Cain: WotIfknsay..

Adam: Stop muttering!

Cain: SHE’S ALWAYS ON MY CASE. NOTHING I DO IS GOOD ENOUGH. SHE MAKES ME SICK!

(Long silence.)

Adam: What d’you mean “on your case”?

Cain: She doesn’t like me.

Adam: That’s not true.

Cain: I can’t do ANYTHING.

Adam: Like what? Tell me.

Cain: Promise you won’t hit me?

Adam: Hit you?

(Pause.)

Adam: Why d’you think I’ll hit you?

(Pause.)

Adam: I never hit you.

(Pause.)

Adam: I’ll see what I can do.

Cain: Thaswoyallussay.

Adam: What?

Cain: You always say that.

Adam: And?

(No response.)

Adam: AND?

Cain: YOU SAY NOTHING TO HER! YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING !

(Silence.)

Adam: How do you know?

(Silence.)

Adam: It’s not true.

Cain: IT IS, DAD ! IT IS !

Adam: Just try to behave, all right? Don’t provoke her.

Cain: All right. (Hears Eve approaching, starts and runs off.)

Adam: Hey, come here!

(Pensive, he picks up a fig leaf. Eve comes in with Abel, also a teenager, who’s wearing a skin around his loins.)

Eve: Adam, look what Abel’s made. – Adam?

(Adam is still thinking about Cain.)

Abel: It was when I heard you arguing about the leaves. I remembered watching the animals in the rain… and I realized the rain ran off their skin…

Eve: Isn’t it a lovely idea.

Adam: Yes, dear.

Eve: They’re really lovely, aren’t they.

Adam: Yes…

Eve: Isn’t that kind? Adam? – That’s very thoughtful of you, Abel.

Adam: Yes it is.

Eve: He’s made them for both of us. And there’s a hat.

(Adam takes his skins reluctantly. Eve gets into hers.)

Eve: I think this disproves what you were saying the other day.

Adam: What, about down there?

Eve: About the younger generation.

Adam: Oh, sure.

Eve: And he’s made one for Cain too.

Adam: (To Eve) So you don’t think we’ll get all sweaty after all?

Abel: I haven’t finished his yet.

Eve: No, well, all in good time. (She strokes his cheek, which he’s a bit uncomfortable with) Isn’t this kind?

Adam: Yes. I said yes.

Eve: I think Cain’s a little jealous.

Adam: I’m not surprised.

Eve: Aren’t you going to try yours?

Adam: They look a bit skimpy…

Abel: What, you mean, for the bigger chap?

(He smiles broadly. Adam looks at him.)

Adam: You’re starting to sound like your mother.

Abel: (Chastened) Well, you can always use a bigger animal. Obviously.

Eve: Obviously.

(She gives Adam a hard stare. Adam discreetly throws the leaves away and tries to put the skin on.)

Adam: Are you sure they’ll be hygienic?

Eve: Honestly, just get on with it!

(Adam can’t get into his.)

Abel: I don’t know what I did wrong.

Eve: Mine fitted.

Adam: Perhaps he sizes you up more.

Eve: (To Adam) Come again?

Adam: Or sees me smaller than I am.

Abel: Hello? I am here.

Eve: (To Adam) That’s just silly.

Adam: You think so?

Abel: You can talk to my face, you know.